I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize