why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
