She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
