Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
