Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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