Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
