Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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