Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
