Non-Jews are for practice
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
