Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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