Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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