Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
