i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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