i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
