Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize