That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
