oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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