i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
