Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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