as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
