You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
