I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize