1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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