why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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