I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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