Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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