You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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