i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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