yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
