Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
