He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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