one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
