You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
