Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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