so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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