You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize