no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
