Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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