he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
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So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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