I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
