What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
