If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
