Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
