When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
