the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
