We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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