I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
