you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize