do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
