do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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