does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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