How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My bed smells like the plague
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