I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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