Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
