So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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