i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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