just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
