Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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