Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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